“Spoonfeed him and as an adult he will always need someone to lean on,” says Vatsyayan...Business Standard

Enter the Helicopter parent
Parents these days want to control every aspect of a child?s life ? from friendships and hobbies to job interviews ? stifling his ability to make decisions
Veenu Sandhu / New Delhi Sep 08, 2012, 00:18 IST ........The extent of helicopter parenting may vary from mild to extreme but it often proves to be counterproductive, say counsellors and child psychologists. For example, when a class of eight-year-olds from Delhi went on a picnic, the parents of one child followed the bus in their car. They may have done this simply out of extreme concern for their child, given that newspapers are flooded with reports of accidents during school trips. To the child, however, this sends out a different message — that his parents perhaps do not trust him and this exposes him to the mockery of his peers. Some children, say psychologists, might also feel reassured that their parents are always there for them. Such messages take root and the child does not learn to be an independent, responsible individual who can take care of himself, cautions Suneel Vatsyayan, relationship counsellor and CEO of Connect counseling and training solutions. Vatsyayan has been working with a couple whose micro-parenting has made their son, now 26, socially isolated and bereft of the motivation to do anything. .......“Parenting is tricky,” says Amit Sen, child and adolescent psychiatrist who runs the Children’s First Clinic in Delhi. The word, he adds, is yet to be defined in the dictionary. “A very dynamic question which a parent needs to answer is: when to be around and when to withdraw,” says Sen. “Parents feel that in this competitive world, if they are not constantly watching over the child or protecting him, he will miss the bus or not grow up to be a happy and successful individual.” Such children, says Vatsyayan, will eventually find ways to avoid the parents or will start acting in a manner to please the parent to be able to negotiate with them. “Spoonfeed him and as an adult he will always need someone to lean on,” says Vatsyayan. “At work too, he will be able to manage only when things are spelt out or defined for him.” That is not something any parent, helicopter or otherwise, would want for the child. Read more  http://www.business-standard.com/india/news/enterhelicopter-parent/485702/